I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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