If i come over, it means nothing
Don't make out with my wife yet
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
