It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
