Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
