I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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