Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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