can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
