I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we have pet lesbian snakes
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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