my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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