I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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