And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
