just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
