You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
