If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
