Moan for me like Helen Keller
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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