Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
