just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come share oat with me in your robe
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
