I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
