google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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