If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
