Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this boner is exhausting
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
