he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
