I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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