Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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