there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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