No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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