Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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