im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
