you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Duck Duck Cougar?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
