what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
