oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
