you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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