Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
