It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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