U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
