She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he thought i was a dude.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
