I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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