your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
