He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
