so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
