This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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