Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
