I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
