There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
