i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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