if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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