yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
