Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
