How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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