All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
