was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
